Hens Lay Eggs
food for thought
Setting the hook
A potential client recently accepted my offer to provide her with a sample edit. I received the first 1,000 words of her manuscript and dug in.
The first three paragraphs dwelled on world-building, expository description of the protagonist’s immediate environment. As description goes, that was well-written. The description was evocative and atmospheric, poetic even. The action began in the fourth paragraph. Unfortunately, that was three paragraphs too late.
The problem with beginning your story with paragraphs of description is that nothing happens. Although the description may convey sensorial detail and mood, it’s an information dump. And nothing happens.
According to book coach and author Sally Lotz, the author has 30 seconds to hook the reader. Writer Christopher Garlington says the author has three minutes to engage the reader’s attention. In a Stack Exchange discussion on writing, answers vary as to how long a writer has to hook the reader before the reader sets the book down and never finishes it. There’s some consensus that the hook—that thing that snags the reader’s interest and convinces the reader to keep reading—should occur on the first page. Some even state it should occur in the first paragraph.
Today’s short attention spans may even demand that the hook occur in the first sentence. One writing-oriented Facebook group has a regular theme of “First Line Fridays” when authors are encouraged to post the first line of their manuscripts. Group participants then deliver feedback as to whether the first line (or three or four lines) grabbed their interest or not.
The moral of the story is not to drown your reader at the start of your story with a deluge of information. No matter how poetically written, descriptive detail is not action. In fact, such dumps delay the start of action or stop the action in its tracks. It serves as a barrier, a road block.
I understand the allure of beginning with description. Writers, especially those who write in fantasy and science fiction, spend a lot of time and effort on world-building. It’s important they and their characters know and understand the fictional realms in which those characters operate. However, readers don’t need to know the intricacies of that fictional world. Let me blunt: readers don’t care.
But the environment in which the characters operate and some physical details are important. That means weaving the important details into the story.
I explained it to a client recently: You, the writer, cannot transfer the image in your brain to the reader’s brain. The reader will already have formed an image in his or her own mind. What you need in writing is not photographic detail, but a general impression. Think Impressionism, not photograph.
Let me be blunt: If you want to ensure the reader sees in his or her own mind what you see, then you’re in the wrong business. Get into film making where you can impose your vision onto the minds of others.
So, you now know to avoid beginning your story with an information dump. But what should you do instead? You have three basic options:
- Begin with dialogue. The first line of The Bounty: Jones is “I need bullets.” When posted to that aforementioned Facebook group’s for the First Line Friday theme, it received a plethora of responses, all of which indicating the those seeing it wanted to know more. The hook was immediate and effective.
- Begin with action. This means someone, the protagonist or not, is doing something or something is happening. Action often conveys a sense of urgency and leads the reader to discover what happens next. In Russian Lullaby, the heroine drops the books she’s carrying when she’s kidnapped.
- Begin with a declaration, an opinion. A controversial opinion works well, as does one with irony or given with sly wit. My favorite first line actually comes from Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice: “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.” That first line not only sets the tone for an entire genre, but it alludes to the tenor or theme of the entire book: the hunt for a husband.
Each of the tactics mentioned above has its pitfalls and perils. Doing any of them well is a challenge, which makes starting a book with description easy by default. However, easy is not necessarily effective.
International Womens Day … or Not
The cognitive dissonance is real.
A barrage of celebratory posts and posts decrying rampant misogyny and more posts about wokeness erasing women from language and law heralded International Women’s Day (March 8).
It reminded me of two things:
1. Take Back the Night. I remember this rally, a protest march organized after a series of nighttime assaults and rapes on campus when I was in college back in the mid 1980s. I thought it was ludicrous: we young women couldn’t take back what we never had—the night. Night had always dangerous for women. (It still is.) That’s why the university provided a free escort service to ensure female students got from point A to point B safely. I certainly didn’t see how a few hundred young women marching through the university’s campus after sunset would change anything. It didn’t.
2. Romance. The romance genre is primarily written for women by women, so one might think that the genre would break those glass ceilings, open those envelopes, and refuse to put women in tidy boxes. But what genre most rigorously enforces traditional gender roles? Romance. What gender romanticizes abuse and brutality against women? Romance.
Make no mistake, romance is my favorite genre. It offers the most flexibility; it encompasses every other genre. It even appears in every other genre. It adds depth to other genres, focuses on characters and their relationships, and offers a good deal of wish fulfillment. In romance, women can be anything they want to be: captains of space ships, talented surgeons, world-renowned chefs. Most often, though, heroines fall into standard categories: beautiful, poor, unsklled, weak. Most heroes in romance align with a stereotype: handsome, powerful (politically and/or socially), wealthy.
Romance follows the traditional fairy tale and rewards the (virtuous) heroine with the (wealthy, handsome, powerful) prince. It caters to private, personal fantasies in which everything ends with a “happily ever after,” which we all know isn’t true to life. Romance reiterates and reinforces those gender stereotypes women have been fighting for generations.
Romance it’s the largest genre by both book volume and sales revenue. Needless to say, it’s popular. Very popular. It’s mainly written for women by women.
Why do so many authors write this stuff? Because it sells. So, why does romance—especially “dark” romance—sell so well?
You tell me.
#henhousepublishing #fictionwriting #editing #bookdesign #proofreading
Expanding my horizons
One might think that some who’s an editor, ghostwriter, and author would have experience with book clubs. In my case, one would be wrong.
A high school friend of my younger son invited me to join a book club she was starting. I accepted. She scheduled a date, canceled it due to inclement winter weather, and rescheduled. With no baseline of expectations, I attended our first meeting on Sunday evening at the restaurant where this young woman works.
In the restaurant’s back room (usually reserved for events and parties), I met four people: a twenty-something couple and their two toddler sons. My young friend had never met them either; they’d become acquainted through Facebook. I have no issue with that because I’ve met some interesting people through social media, starting in the days of usenet way over 20 years ago.
The young mother works at a day care facility. She quipped that she spends her days working with toddlers only to come home and … work with toddlers. (Her own.) The young father is an “undergraduate behavioral therapist” working with autistic children. Both reminded me of my older son’s former neighbors: young, pierced, tattooed, and genuinely nice people.
(Would you blame me if I started scheming to introduce these fine folks to horses? I’m always happy to share the equestrian passion!)
None of us has participated in a book club before, so the conversation wandered. For nearly two hours, we mainly focused on getting acquainted and learning about each other. Periodically, I’d bring the conversation back to the main topic: books. What did each person like to read? What book should we start with?
My young friend mentioned that I was an author. I immediately followed that up with a statement that I’d not joined the book club for commercial purposes. In short, I’m not there to sell my books. I am looking at this as an opportunity share books and discuss them, what we like and don’t like rather than for some academic purpose, something I’ve not actually had experience doing.
The conversation turned to what we were currently reading, what we like to read, and what we would like to try. The young mother stated she was working on A Court of Thorns and Roses by Susan J. Maas but finding it slow going because of the demands on her time. A young mother who’s employed full-time and has two toddlers to mind doesn’t have a lot of free time for leisure reading. She confessed to hoping that book club participation would impose some level of accountability to add that extra encouragement she needed to finish the book. The club organizer admitted to having read it, but it had been a few years, and she wasn’t opposed to reading it again. Neither I nor the young father has read the book.
So, ACOTAR it is. With one meeting per month—schedule of meeting dates to be determined—I ordered the box set which was delivered yesterday. Before I pick up the first book in the series, I need to finish the novel I’m currently reading. I don’t have any doubts I’ll be able to read the book before our meeting in April. Our next book? Who knows? The young father said he likes dystopian and urban fiction. The young mother likes fantasy and romance (of the “romantasy” variety). The organizer likes fantasy and romance (contemporary, historical, and romantasy). I like fantasy, romance, historical, mystery, science fiction, and westerns. I think I’ll advocate for the group to try out a mystery, detective novel, or western in April. And, yes, I have something in mind: perhaps Robert B. Parker’s Spenser series or Lindsey Davis’ Marcus Didiius Falco series or anything by Zane Grey or Louis Lamour.
I do think we’ll focus on genre fiction. The book club selections should be something we want to read, not dreaded assignments.
So, why would an author/editor/ghostwriter join a book club?
First, it gets me out of the house and interacting with real people. I have hermit-like tendencies, so human interaction is something I need to schedule into my life.
Second, it will put me into touch with newer authors and current reading trends in a more immediate fashion than looking up bestseller lists on Amazon or Goodreads. I’ll have more reason so seek out those books and read them.
Third, it will give me an opportunity to introduce older authors and older books to a younger generation. Call it cross pollination if you will: all of us will broaden our literary exposure.
Fourth, continuing the extension of our literary horizons, we’ll sample different genres. We’ll see what we like and dislike about those genres and maybe even discover books and authors that become our new favorites.
The book club has room for more people. In fact, we’d love to get more people involved. So …
If you’re near Springfield, Ohio and would like to join a brand new book club, then let me know. I’ll pass on your information to the organizer so she can put you on the notification list. If you have experience with book clubs, tell us about it, what you liked and disliked about participation, what worked well and didn’t work at all for the group. With no actual structure thus far, we’re open to suggestions to grow the group and make it thrive.
And if you’re an author—aspiring or established—and would like some help with the book you want to write, the book you’re writing, or the manuscript you’ve written, then I’m happy to offer professional services in ghostwriting, editing, book design, and/or proofreading.
#bookclub #henhousepublishing
Author
Hard boiled, scrambled, over easy, and sunny side up: eggs are the musings of Holly Bargo, the pseudonym for the author.
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Karen (Holly)
Blog Swaps
Looking for a place to swap blogs? Holly Bargo at Hen House Publishing is happy to reciprocate Blog Swaps in 2019.
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